By Guest Author Administrator

Hedgebrook’s First Writer in Residence Jan D’Arcy

It was August 1988. My son Tyler had been diagnosed with a chiasmic glioma. The brain tumor was not cancerous, but it had done horrific damage. Tyler was completely blind in his left eye and had very little sight left in his right eye. We went through multiple doctor’s appointments, tests, 6 weeks of radiation and still the tumor seemed to be growing. I was a single Mom, completely immersed in his care, taking care of my four other children and running a communications consulting business. I had published a small book and an audio cassette album. I was writing another book, but it definitely was not getting any attention. I heard about Hedgebrook but was reluctant to apply. I didn’t have anyone to stay with Tyler 24/7. I also thought there must be some catch about the offer of a free writing “vacation.”

 

When I heard that Children’s Hospital Camp Goodtimes had doctors, nurses and trained volunteers to oversee the children, I signed Tyler up for a week. I sent in my application to Hedgebrook and was amazed to receive notice that I was selected to go for the same week.

 

After waving goodbye to my son, I drove to a ferry and followed Nancy’s explicit directions to Whidbey Island. There was no one I could talk to about their experience and what to expect.

I’m embarrassed to say that I brought along a sleeping bag, a pillow and primitive camping gear. When I drove up to the gate at Hedgebrook, Nancy was waiting for me. She told me to keep going up the road and she’d follow me.

I came to a magical fairyland cottage in the middle of the woods. I waited for her to open the door, but she insisted on staying at a distance and watched while I carefully turned the knob and stepped inside. At once, I knew I didn’t need the sleeping bag or the camping equipment. It was very luxurious, down to the leather carrier for the wood – whose material I’d have coveted for a purse. I set up my stubby Mac computer and carried in two boxes of research. The first night I was so exhausted, I sunk into the comfy bed, covered myself with the down duvet and slept for 10 hours.

 

Nancy explained that I ‘d have my lunch delivered and then come to the farmhouse for dinner. What would I like to eat? I mentioned I liked veggies- beets, carrots, tomatoes- anything would be fine. The next day I saw her digging in the garden and realized she was digging the beets

I’d be eating an hour later for dinner. Chef Nancy definitely started the authentic Farm to Table restaurant. We had some wonderful conversations over dinner when she told me what led up to her creating a place for women writers. She was very concerned that my accommodations were acceptable, that I was comfortable, that I had everything I needed to work on my book. My mother was always supportive of anything I did. But in my current situation I wasn’t used to that much attention and professional regard for my creative ventures. I still was reluctant to call myself a writer. But I was determined to produce something worthy of this opportunity.

When I mentioned something about shrimp, Nancy drove to town and bought some. I was almost afraid to casually mention I liked something in fear she’d produce it. I soon realized we two were the only residents on the large property and she was the one dropping off my lunch and flowers. The workers came during the day and left. One day Nancy asked me if the gardener watering my flowers around my cottage was distracting. As a mother of 5 children, I had to stifle a laugh. At night, it was really silent in the woods. Since the woods are my favorite place to be, I was in 7th heaven. No responsibilities, no phone calls, no grocery shopping or anything to interrupt my writing. What a fantastic idea Nancy had imagined and brought to fruition!

Twenty years later, I returned to Hedgebrook for another week. This time there were four other writers. It was a very different experience as we had dinner together and then talked about the various projects we were working on. Nancy had given up her culinary duties and there was a cook and other workers around the property.  5 more cottages had been built. It was now a revolving community of women writers from all over the world.

My book had been published to good reviews. My communications business had taken off as well as my acting career. Writing was on the back burner again. My son had more medical challenges and lost all his sight. We had to deal with scary seizures from his epilepsy. Although he had a part-time job, he still needed daily help with most everything.  I had started another book and was grateful for this second time at Hedgebrook to solidify my objective.  Once again, the freedom that Nancy created took me out of my responsibilities in my everyday world. The nature and calmness of Hedgebrook surrounded me and helped me to believe in myself as a writer.

 

By Guest Author Administrator

Kelly Ford

I very recently came to be the head of housekeeping at Hedgebrook…how’s that for alliteration? I digress…

I came to Hedgebrook as a part time, back up housekeeper to the back up housekeeper. A dear friend and now roommate, was filling in on a temporary basis as a housekeeper. She asked if I wanted to train as an extra hand. I was in a failing marriage at the time and idea of being a steward to such an amazing institution on a beautiful property was hard to resist and so I said yes…

Long story, short, I was enamored and grateful to spend time on the property and peek into the inner workings of such a serene place.

The work I do is not complex, or mentally challenging for that matter. But, it IS sacred, methodical and meditative. I restore chaos to order. Clear out the old to make way for the new. Over and over and over. Yet, I do not find this mundane boring or beneath me. I cherish this work. It is good, honest and pure, I simply make everything nicer and more beautiful than it already is. I help make an amazing place, more amazing for amazing artists…who repay me, the world with art, beauty and words to fill our hungry souls.

The land itself is a balm for the soul, a beauty beyond words, respite, retreat and HOME. So those whose words I long to read, are inspired, nourished and restored, so they may create my future memories and inspirations, It’s a win win situation…on every level.

The failing marriage, finally failed, more alliteration.. and I took over as head of housekeeping. After a bit of a learning curve and a few meltdowns, I found my groove. My incredible colleagues now family, held me. , supported me and trusted in me…so many blessings. I was an emotional wreck and tried to keep a brave face in the midst of my own personal storm…and my new family never gave up on me. Because that’s the bigger part of the story.. Hedgebrook is so much more than a retreat for writers.. it’s a retreat for us ALL . .

It’s a magical place of acceptance and healing, so one may hear her inner voice and learn to trust it

My inner voice urged me to ask if I could stay in a cottage over Christmas, as it would be my first ever alone. I just wanted to know. These precious cottages, that we lovingly scrub and polish.. and the forest with it’s owls and ravens, and the bath tub, and the peace…I wanted to know what it is like to be a part of this gift. To feel the serenity the writers must feel, or the loneliness, or the fear or the joy. All of it. I wanted to know. I asked. Vito said yes. I was ecstatic! Alone on the property. I brought Christmas lights, flameless candles, music, books ,art supplies, good food and even, tap shoes! I turned down all invitations from well meaning friends who wished to cheer me up… I was cheerful and I wanted to be there. Alone. On Christmas.

I got to start my own fire. I build them daily.. and, its good to know that, the one match technique works! I also learned that fires need to be well tended.. and there will be many treks to the wood shed. Ashes will spill and fir needles will follow you in, no matter how careful you are. The dark and the quiet are so comforting, and one can feel such utter peace that it is humbling,

I walked the property, talked to trees, meditated, read , journaled and painted…I even practiced my tap dancing…and reveled in myself. There was only joy, freedom and wonder…

It snowed on Christmas eve. A heavy, quiet, beautiful gift fell from the sky and filled my soul with such peace and happiness. To walk through the dark forest, to a claw footbath tub was a meditation in joy. Queen for a day!

Christmas morning.. dazzling snow covered trees, my Christmas forest…the truest gift I’ve ever received. I felt as if I was chosen as the guest of honor at the most precious of celebrations. My heart was full and my joy immeasurable. And I understood. What goes on here. What it’s like to be nurtured and cherished by the universe. Where you can be yourself, and think your thoughts, and breath snow cleaned air, and be dazzled by natures best decoration,,,

And to think,,, that by tidying up and providing a clean, serene well tended environment…I’m assisting in  magical creativity and self exploration. What more noble work than that? What we do at Hedgebrook is more than work… It’s a collaborative construction of radical hospitality.

Such and honor…to be a small part of such a big thing!

             

 

 

By Guest Author Administrator

Sara J. Grossman

Five years before my first book of poems would be accepted for publication, I was awarded a Hedgebrook writing residency. I arrived at the farmhouse a rainy Saturday in June, exhausted from the double-layover (New Jersey to Washington to Colorado and then Seattle) and a little drunk on the lushness of the island. You have to believe me when I say that every plant on the island seemed to be blooming upon my arrival. When I walked into the farmhouse, I met Amy Wheeler and Hedgebrook’s founder, Nancy Nordhoff, who happened to be visiting that day. How had I gotten so lucky?

At the time, I was working on a final draft of my first book, Let the House of Body Fall (New Issues Press, 2018), an exploration of physical disability in post-September 11th America. I had a lot of work to do and as I settled into my five week stay, I learned just how necessary Hedgebrook was for completing this work.

I like to think that whatever happens in the cottage stays in the cottage, though there are obvious exceptions to this rule. After all, the book I worked on while at Hedgebrook will be a public one. But there is something private about the cottage work, a privacy that no one else can or will know about. It was a compelling privacy but a complicated one, too. I wasn’t used to spending so much time with myself, as well as with my work. No distractions. Just me and the work––some days it was a pleasure to see what I’d made; on other days, my poems frightened me. I frightened me. At Hedgebrook, though, all of that was OK. If I wanted to––and only if––I could report on my day at dinner. But silence was also accepted. That’s the thing about Hedgebrook. You don’t have to be anything for anyone else. Your only responsibility is the work.

In the months and years to come––especially in my my most challenging moments of imposter syndrome during which I’d convince myself that I’ve never been a real poet and I should stop calling myself that––my mind would return to Hedgebrook. I’d close my eyes and there, across the table from me, would be novelist Ruth Ozeki, who I had been fortunate enough to share time with that June. Or, I’d be walking to the garden with poet Tara Hardy and novelist Marissa Johnson-Valenzuela to gather artichokes and camomile, all the while talking about postindustrial cities and how to fight for justice under capitalism. And then I’d be at my writing desk in Fir working on a draft of a poem, with my manuscript pages taped to the walls, seven different titles strewn across the floor in disgust.

Though I went on to other residencies in the time between the writing of my first book of poems and landing a contract for it, Hedgebrook is the shelter that I return to in times of struggle. It was, after all, the place in which I made my first draft ready for submission to contests. But it was also more than that. Hedgebrook was a safe place for my work––a place where I could experiment with range and style without fear of judgement. It was a place that allowed me to lose myself for a while in service of the work. It was a place wherre I was allowed to get lost.

I suppose there is one last exception to that rule I mentioned earlier––“what happens in the cottage stays in the cottage.” There will always be the notebooks. So if you happen to stay in Fir, look me up under June 2012. I think I left some notes about poetry, or at least a note about where to find the wild raspberries.

Bio: Sara J. Grossman’s first book of poems, Let the House of Body Fall, will be published by New Issues Poetry & Prose in 2018. Her writing has appeared in Guernica, Michigan Quarterly Review, Omniverse, Verse Daily and elsewhere. She has received fellowships from The MacDowell Colony, Hedgebrook, National Endowment for the Humanities, the Smithsonian Institution, and is a Visiting Fellow at Pennsylvania State University. She is currently at work on two book projects, A Natural History of Data (a cultural history of weather data in the United States), as well as a new book of poems currently titled Notes Toward Dysmorphia.

 

By Guest Author

A Safe Space in Tuscany By Katrina Woznicki

It’s not easy to sell off the last of your stock holdings, the very last thing you bought in your own name years ago, back when you were flush and earned a healthy bimonthly paycheck. Yet that’s exactly what I did to attend Hedgebrook’s Master Class in Tuscany with Hannah Tinti. I didn’t need to return to Italy; I had just been there the previous year. But Hedgebrook is different. And the experience proved to be worth every penny.

Honestly, I can’t even begin to place a dollar value on my week there because this particular writers’ retreat was like no other. I want to call it magical, life-changing, life-affirming, all those other “feel-good” words you see on the cover of Oprah magazine because they’re all true. I’ve attended writers’ conferences before; I’ve been workshopped by rock-star authors. Hedgebrook delivered something different: community that’s committed to ensuring that every woman is heard.

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By Guest Author Administrator

Reflections on being a Y WE mentor…

I haven’t been to summer camp in 20 years, but at Y-WE Write, I felt instantly at home.  I shared the same shyness young writers must feel when they first encounter one another, meeting the brilliant and poised youth but also my distinguished fellow teaching artists Karen Finneyfrock and Anastacia Renee, for the first time….

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